…Flying:

1) talking on your cell phone during takeoff will result in people
yelling at you.

2) when given the option of aisle or window seat, i’d rather the “not-
next-to-obesity” option.

3) nothing is burning noob, that funny smell is normal on a plane.
chill out.

4) is a number followed by a letter that difficult for you to process?
that’s my seat, how could you possibly confuse it with yours at the
other end of the plane?

5) even though it’s more of a placebo than anything else, i’d rather
have a parachute than an inflatable life jacket under my seat. what,
i’m supposed to bounce when i hit the ground?